Define: Faith

Faith is exercise, training. We see it everywhere, in physical fitness we see it when a trainer tells us that, while displaying an example picture of a past success, a fit person: "This is what you will look like in 6 weeks, if you follow my method." Do we think: "Oh, yeah right, trying to make me look like that is hopeless, it will never happen." We don't, because we know it has been done, we know the outcome and the rewards.

We have faith in written text, we have faith in told promises by Prophets. What differentiates that from the faithful rewards of training hard and sticking to a schedule. "Thou shall not eat much fatty food, thou shall bench dumbbells for 8 reps."

We train using a method, and have faith in that method because it has been done before.

Sometimes we stick to it, and in a weeks time, look in the mirror and notice no difference. We become Depressed, loose hope, loose faith. We think that everything should be instantaneous, and that results should be quick and painless. When we don't see what we want to see, we instantly become disheartened.

Faith requires sacrifice.

Faith in your Holy Father, faith in your Brother's teachings, how to become a spiritual success. How to see and feel results.

At times we become disheartened, people tell us that faith is pointless, they tell us we are alone. We are nothing. They tell us it can't be proven.

The overweight man tells you that it can't be done, you can't get fit. Its impossible because he has never experienced it.

Are we blindly attacking the gym, in hopes of a nicer body? Of course we are. The only thing we have to hold on to for example is the instructor's words, the picture of the man who did.

It can be done! We think, so we persist. Blind, with no instant results whatsoever. A feeling of overall good, perhaps at the end of the day, but no real results.

There is a Prophet today, an instructor, with words that promise. Words. There have been many in the past, in fact, there has been someone who did, and showed us how. Personally. The living example of a sacrifice to teach, to show results. Many of who are looked at as blind and ignorant have His picture on their walls.

They are blind, and you are as well. Blind in the gym of Spiritual things, hoping, having faith, that one day you will look in the mirror and see your true self, to hear those words that so few have heard.

Persistence, the key. Don't loose hope, don't give up because you see no results. You will, in time. You may think: "This is wasting my time, it probably isn't true, it probably doesn't work..." Perhaps the fat man is correct.

How to Gain Physical Definition: 1. Work-out, exercise. 2. Eat healthy, eat right. 3. Stick to a schedule, stick to the trainer's rules and steps. 4. Rest.

How to Gain Spiritual Definition: 1. Do good works 2. Eat healthy, stay toxin and psychologically and physically stimulant free. 3. Obey the Instructor's training steps and commandments. 4. Meditate, rest, allow an open mind free of distraction for communication via your internal monologue.

Its a systematic relationship.

If you give it time and patience, You WILL see results. Faith is persistent hope, with a tangible outcome. Even the impossible is tangible, look at the Subway guy. Look at Joseph Smith.

He had come from confusion, distress, like most of us; the world had filled his belly with the lipids of confusion. Was there hope for anything, any real point, and real hope?

He prayed sincerely one profound day, and received instruction. Truth, the true method of Spiritual Success.

He then persisted, followed what he was told, sacrificed. Even until he completed the absolute sacrifice, he died for his faith.

Many revelations were given, more instruction, blessings beyond belief; establishment of the true church upon the earth.

All because he was persistent and followed the method until his last breath, and still breathing out his last words in faith.

His diligence now echos throughout the four corners of the world. In less than 200 years over 13 million members have found the "True Method"

What an incredible accomplishment.

You are going to encounter persecution, just as Joseph did as well. People would rather be fattened by ignorance then have to stand up and drip sweat from their brow in training for something that takes Faith.

Its worth it every step.

The Human Schematic

What I have feared most has seemingly come to pass.

We have finally become what we create, something other than Human. We have become machines.

It seems as though the only thing that has defined us from the beginning has slowly slipped away to the point of disappearance. That thing that gives us power over the robotic programs we create.

What defines a Human being? A valuable question.

Plato states that: "Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge."

Behavior defines a person from the inside out. You are what you eat, and to the same is what you think, you do. Behavior defines a person from the inside out.

The one thing that the world of the robotic symbiont lacks, is the power of emotion.

I've pondered as of late what my life lacks, and what the entire world lacks. When we see the very first news-lines that display the text: "A soldier dies today in Afghanistan." We may mourn for a bit, perhaps less than a second or so. Then we carry on our day.

When we watch television and the cheapened sight of someone getting injured on a reality TV show makes us laugh, not cry or feel remorse. Something is wrong.

Something is wrong!

I have been guilty of being near to emotionless for some-time. I've seen so many things, in every category of perversion. Things don't affect me.

Lately I have been watching the world from the outside, standing far, far away and seeing everything as a whole. Hatred, war, greed, lust, perversion of what, makes us Human; but am I affected?

Not really.

We play fun video-games that give us thrilling "high scores" for blowing off the most amount of [incredible realistic] Human heads. We laugh and its a great time.

An artificial intelligence is created by programming. Lists and lists of text defining conditions and effects.

When A is encountered, B happens. Some variables can be interchanged, but it is extremely cut and dry. Knowledge. If I say people are bad, the AI recognizes that string and acts on it. Simple, emotionless, it executes.

When you double click on Firefox or Internet Explorer, it executes code that starts the AI, the program. That's why its called an executable. Does it feel? Does know you are going to look up some internet perversion and pop up some text that says "Hey buddy, I know what you are going to do, and I can't allow you to do it, its going to degrade you."

No. It doesn't.

Are we being programmed to execute without emotion? What is happening here?

Via this social manipulation into the only thing that makes us Human, and with these new found rock hardened hearts, we have become corrupt to the extremes.

'The virtue of justice consists in moderation, as regulated by wisdom." ~Aristotle

Now that we have reached the insatiable desensitization, we must seek the extremes to entertain us.

Perversion is a something taken to a exploited extreme. Look around you, do you see any of this?

Extreme sex, extreme hate, extreme violence, extreme extreme extreme. It all becomes so difficult to feel, to see.

What happens when we can't find anymore extremes? When we have taken those basic actions that had once made us so Human, and destroyed them. We destroy ourselves, I fear.

We become that robotic doppelganger. We lose our Humanity.

Now that we have created Artificial intelligence that can perceive with touch, sight, and even smell. It's harder than ever to define what is truly Human.

We are not robots. This is not truly who we are. When we drive a car, we are not the vehicle. It represents us. The faux iconic person we have created an are so obsessed with adorning?

It is a vehicle! Just as a robot can never be human for it cannot feel, it has no soul; we can feel,
we have something else. Yes, a brain that supports analytical thought processing in this 3 dimensional world, and other sensory organs that help us feel like exists here and only here.

Emotion is what makes us, it is something that teaches us more valuable lessons then any knowledge could ever. Love, even pain, teaches us those lessons... and ironically it is the one thing that we are being stripped of.

I have lately been forcing myself to feel per se, when something arises that would have made me happy, sad, apathetic, or otherwise when I was a child. I find in myself those feelings again, reanalyzing why I would feel, and I do. They are dormant, and it is difficult, but they are there, and they are who I really am.

I would hope the world would try and do the same, get back to simplicity and love. The unifying lessons on what really make us Human.

I truly love you all, and hope we can make our own reform in this world. One of love and understanding for the true thing that makes us all human.

a Giant in a Giants World

I am so confused.

Why do people think they must find themselves through the exterior portion of society and living?

Isn't it odd how people seem to be so afraid to tarnish their "reputation" for who people think they are?

It seems as though we people as a whole have fallen into a downward spiral into destroying ourselves. Individuality is so pushed, we must have the nicest of everything. More! More! More!

What happens when we get what we want? We still want more.

The thing that we are raised up to believe will make us happy, that thing we crave, those things that make reputation. Make us seem as though we are more than we are to the other eyes.

I'm speaking for the majority of us when I say that it seems as though we are all so weak inside. The confidence we build in this life is only a poor disguised illusion that we try as a tool to mask our secret fear;

our fear of being a nobody, our uncertain true selves.

Its my personal opinion that modern and ancient philosophy is extremely intriguing, and that everyone should, int their life-time, explore its subjective thoughts and history.

One thing that stands out to me, is the idea of a person's "Other."

Look it up, the German Philosopher Hegel wrote about the idea. The difficult to grasp concept basically stating that a person's 'Other' is that person of how 'Other' people perceive you.

Everyone has an Other, that extrovert persona. The problem is, is that the Other isn't really you, and it seems as though everyone is utterly infatuated with increasing it's character and ranking in this world.

Wow, so wait, you are saying that not only is everyone obsessed with the material, and things of importance; but people have even created faux images of themselves and are actually not helping their true selves become something of any relevance?

You might as well have a Toy Barbie or Soldier and having it represent you, and taking care of it and what people thinks of it.

This is absurd! No wonder people feel as though they truly do not need anyone to rely on today! They have their fake selves to take care of, nurture.

Oh, and its ok to lie! Because as long as your Other's reputation and safety isn't damaged, who truly cares about thier Other.

We are literally carving out a fake reality for ourselves. An image of truth that harnesses the clever act of puppetry to force us all into a division, and then eventually, destruction.

How happy was the 50 year old millionaire who finally achieved what he had desperately struggled to accumulate throughout his years? What did he really do? What will he continue to do? All he knows is something that is an ever cycle to a grimace demise that ends with nothing.

You die. You have money. Did it make you happy? When you made more of it. Was it a quenchable thirst? No.

So you can never truly be happy. Anything you strive to achieve and then die with, no promises attached, that brings to mere moments of satisfaction yet years of grief striving to achieve those moments.

Why? What is the point? Well, it seems that some of these life-long endeavors are for your Other and not you.

You get that car, not for some noble cause, but for this false produced image.

You stay sexy, not for health, but to improve your look.

If you believe there is no life after death, then why would you strive to adapt and improve anything other than what you know and have here?

It saddens me, our beliefs are gone. So we are forced to continually make these temporal images of our self better and better in the face of the gluttonous, insatiable thirst of the world.

A distraction? What else would you call it.

Personal Artwork

The Other From Within

How long does it take to find a person? Well you could say: "Well duh, people are everywhere! Just go down to the supermarket and you'll see loads!" Yes, you may find someone, or many people. You may find an old man with a cane, or a woman with three children. You may see an outgoing individual who says "Hello!" to you.

You found these people, but have you really found 'them'? We have mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, friends, spouses, children and the list goes on. Who are these people?

The interior of one's self is something that is hidden to all but one person, you. Some would even say they don't know themselves. We all have secrets, mystery, hidden potential and hidden thoughts. Can one truly know another?

Philosophically, a person's "Other" is the perceived individual by a third source. You may think of the outgoing man or women who said "Hello!" to you in the grocery store is a great person, the only built perception of them is what had just happened, and what you had just felt. A mini-judgment, if you will.

The reality is, is that this person may be the most insecure individual inside. They may something entirely different than what you thought. This isn't something new, it happens all the time, and your thoughts that moment were of positive, outgoing, and an overall nice person.

When you apply this to our current ties and relationships, however, it becomes something very intriguing. How will you ever know a person entirely? I, personally, have found moments with people I have known for years where I exclaim "I didn't know that about you!" or even being negatively surprised at a person, seeing a side of them I never had known existed.

Its unbelievable to me how a couple could get married having known each-other for a month or two. Yes, it could be seen as an 'adventure', getting to know someone, but is it really worth risking such a commitment on a basis so shallow? It really goes to show you that we really know nothing about the majority of people we know.

Long-term communication and delving into another's mind, is something of huge importance when considering something similar to a long-term relationship, even considering living with a friend, or making a partnership commitment.

Can we really find a person, find a true person, find who a person truly is. I believe we can.

Common goals drive similar people together, like-thoughts, like-actions, like-motives. Like-people tend to be productive and lasting. The initial attraction, however, is opposite.

Think of it this way, into the very basis of what we are created from, the very basis of life and matter. Into a molecule we find an atom, into an atom we find Baryons, the most common of which are proton and neutrons, and the composite which are made of Quarks.

One interesting thing about the smallest particle of matter, and Hadrons in general, is that they have a characteristic called spin.

Basically spin determines the attraction between other quarks, binding them. Quarks that have an opposite spin integer magnetically are attracted.

This can be applied to humans and numerous other things as well, say you 'find' in person that they are selfless, and you are a more selfish person, or one person is more organized and the other is more sporadic.

These things are opposites, and in the long run, the combination of which will not only help you learn about yourself, but also create an equilibrium.

I'm sure the majority of people have heard of the term "opposites attract" I believe this is true in many ways, but I also think that the opposites with the same goals for life will work out substantially better.

If you are entirely opposite in nature, in interests, personality, and goals; there is a very good chance that the relationship will fail out of contention and stubborn individuals.

A rare thing, to find your balancing quark, that person that operates on the the same life frequency as you, but has those things that you need yourself to be whole.

I hope to all that the person is found, and that person is cherished.

So can you find a person? Again I ask, and the answer seems to echo: You must.

For the sake of stability and true commitment in your life. You can't dictate your ties based on if they like to drink and party like you do, or they are good looking, or they are 'fun'. These are superficiality.

We must all find that person hat balances us, the person that creates us.

These particles of life spin freely in their own unique direction, incomplete, magnetized in their own way, searching for that other that makes them whole, makes them complete.

Find that person. Don't stop your search until you do, because it is the basis of life.

Destiny Everchanging

Today we come across something worth speaking about: the unpredicted life of a predetermined living.

It seems as though we all have fluxing destiny, but is there truly a fixed 'point D' in destiny reachable in any circumstance? Or do we create the moving and inter-workings that change where 'point D' lies entirely.

Without reason, what is life? We all have goals, aspirations- and with them: motivation, drive. These are those small destinies we have created ourselves. The universe had little influence on your deciding to become a doctor someday, or to climb mount Everest.

Or did it?

The mathematical something for outputting your final destination in life has determining factors. Obviously if you kill someone, you should expect something negative to come of it. You may be thrown in prison. Will this effect your continual destiny? Most likely.

Some say destiny doesn't exist. Yet it very well exists. The problem is that people are caught up in doing. Doing and seeing and secular knowing.

Destiny isn't about getting that Lambo or winning that lottery ticket.

Its about being and becoming.

Anything in life that changes you, your character, ideas, way of living. These things are about being rather than doing. They echo in eternal resonance, for who you are is how you influence.

The ripples of intercollected human minds and souls receive a small nudge from that person and people you influence greatly. You may think its just but one person you are helping, and that it is just a menial task. What you don't realize, is that the words of one wise are passed down a limitless ladder to all those touched by something so simple, and also that that menial task has a less menial name. You are helping someone in achieving there destiny in being.

Whether you like it, realize it, or try to prevent it. You are constantly doing it by improving yourself, and others. We all seem to bump into each other consistently and share bits of ourselves and take bits of others. Its a universal growing that has been in works since the beginning.

The question is: who are you being? Are you sharing an underdeveloped inner you? There are ways to realize, and increase the positives and speed of your destiny path.

Reflection; you look in a mirror and see yourself. Do you like yourself? If not, do you realize the closest people you influence see the same daunting reflection of you? Its not physical, its who you are right now, on the inside.

The sort of ripples you give off in the day to day are likewise reflected like a that same mirror back to you. You literally receive what you give. An ongoing flux of destiny. I feel that God gives us what we give more than a single fold. Perhaps you do some service work, or perhaps you just say something nice to someone. The results will not be when you expect them, but rest assured and "have faith" because you will be receiving double of what you gave.

Don't do it to get, either. Instead, give to help others attain the same ultimately rewarding destiny that you wish to have.

What we give we get. Its simple, and since becoming a better person equals giving yourself to the world as a positive light for others, who we are is also what we give. Thus applies more statements: Who are we meet. We meet people that reflect the same mindset and place in destiny similar to yours. This is always determined by who you are at the time, you may meet someone similar to you in prison!

Concluding; we all have destinies, different ones that not only reflect your final destination in the universe, but also influence the countless others around you in finding their own eternal happiness and living.

Be who you want to meet. Give what you want to receive.

My Beginning

Welcome to my first blog! Its funny how I finally started a blog, after being so religiously against the "stupidity" of such a thing. For some reason my mind had been made up that 'bloggers' were sheer internet no-lifes.... until I saw twitter. Thus in some kind of strange turn of events in my life, and being utterly disgusted, (also having no way of publicly expressing it to the world) I stooped my sorry self to something that I had been so revolted against... and now think its pretty cool. Ha! The irony!

So as a first blog post, I will introduce myself- I grew up in Coquille (koe-keel, or coke-heel, something similar sounding for a crude coke-addicted prostitute, unfortunately) Oregon, living in rain and fog for the first years of my life... it was delightful- My hobbies consisted of dancing to McHammer in my toddler parachute pants and pleasing the world and everyone in it.

Soon after my family moved to Boise, Idaho... annnd then Casper, Wyoming... and THEN Albuquerque, New Mexico... finally we stopped moving.. oh wait, wrong. We moved back to Idaho when I was 11. A this time I had 5 other siblings, 3 sisters and 2 brothers. The Brady bunch.

The large majority of my childhood revolved around a complete imaginary world, that i will discuss later in more detail, but to be vague: It was a lush fantasy land of limitless fabricated consciousness, I delved deep in my mind and created things with friends and family surely uncreated by any other human soul. Rampant perhaps, was my imagination, and for the majority of the time I saw not the dirt and trees of Idaho, but literally my inner eyes gazed upon the world as my own, vivid. Wild. I was home-schooled for a portion of my life as well, which gave me such endless free-time to elaborate on the deepest of degrees in my strange worlds.
Yet, like everyone, we all have to smell real life at some point;
Puberty eventually led to my conformity in society, and to me, the truth of society smelled bad... although I smelled it differently..

I saw things in a way that nobody I knew did. My friends didn't understand, peers, anybody. My perception of the world as we know it was completely abstract, and unlike anything my robotically produced peers could comprehend, leeeets just say I had my own ideas about things, and at times it got me into trouble. Mostly, however, the curse was an unknown advantage to me.

At 17 I graduated high-school, and was convinced to join a summer-sales team in Portland Oregon with a peer of mine, selling Home Security Systems.. my parents were distraught. My first fearful attempt at asking my father if "I could go?" Was an utterly expected and stern (and somewhat surprised) "No."

Yet I was persistent.

After much convincing, (and reassuring) I was on my way to Portland Oregon. The summary of this magnificent and knowledge-gaining journey was a conglomerate of me realizing what the world really is, meeting some of the most God-provided-me-an-opportunity-to-meet-you unique people in the entire world. Out of random, a simple door knock led me to meet the ones who changed my internal self forever. I am infinitely indebted to these people, and wish I remembered their names to give them the much needed credit; but my heart goes out to the many authors, blue collar workers, spiritual leaders, and movie producers I met on the way.

After I left Portland and came home, and after a grueling 4 months of knocking doors, I was a new person. A man, I felt, and perhaps prematurely aged into this world, but it was so, and something that couldn't be undone. My parents again, were distraught.

My individual self was empowered with the self-confidence that sales experience and opening yourself to hundreds of complete strangers graciously gives. It was amazing, not cockiness, not arrogance, but I knowing of who you are- and a real understanding of the few types of people in the world.

There aren't many. You would be surprised.

Continuing, at 17 I started attending a community college, gaining much needed college credits early on. My freshman year was complete at 17, as well. I was ecstatic how my life was turning out, to make things better- my parents were moving to Colorado, and since I was currently enrolled in College, I couldn't go with them... Freedom! At last! Moving in with my cool grandma, and saying my farewells to my folks, life couldn't have been any better.

Until I turned 18.

Soon after the semester was over, I relocated to my uncles house, my 26 year-old uncle who was literally like my long-lost older brother growing up. Things went down-hill from there...
eventually I started getting bored with life, and unattended, got into the "wrong crowd" you could say, and began my illegal activities regarding thievery.

This went on for a good 3 or so months until I got caught by the "piggies" ;) and my uncle spilled the beans to my entire extended family while he was away in Oregon. I ended up getting community service and massive fines.... also the best learning experience of my life.

When humility turns sour, a large sized beat-down is in order to freshen things up once again- and that's exactly what happened.

Receiving sobbing calls from family you hadn't talked to in years, including your dad telling you he's on "expedia.com" booking a flight to a one-way ass kicking. You sort-of rethink your life.

Ironically this night of being cornered happened on the exact night prior to a long journey to my next summer-sales experience in Seattle Washington.

After the drama had subsided, and ironically my parents found-out about this ordeal and ironically forgave me in about the exact same moment, saying: "We'll forget this ever happen, Just please, Promise us you are done." My love for them, and realization of their love for me blew my mind and expanded farther inside me than ever before. I swore my ways would change. Then left the next morning.

Seattle was interesting, I was amongst my greatest friends, amazing people; the kind of people that uplift you despite anything that is happening in your life currently. The ones who later, really matter to you.

After some months in Seattle and becoming considerable friends with a new guy, we'll call "Scott" for the sake of anonymity and having a considerable amount of things in common with the punk-rocker fellow. (i,e music taste, goals in life, past, religion, dreams) He convinced me to leave those certain people I mentioned earlier who really mattered, and go to LA to pursue music and acting.

I was incredibly excited.

My taste for music ranges (now) from techno, electronica, reggae, punk, metal, post-hardcore, to classical, club, pop, and rap. My one nemesis being country music. *blehhh*

We started off to LA, and began our Hollywood life-styles living in some of the nicest apartments out there, and between seeing Megan Fox walking down the hallways, or battling Tyrese for his work-out equiptment, or having a BBQ with Jordyn Taylor, we were in heaven.

Our band started out quickly, myself doing Vocals, and "Scott"on the guitar, we were rocking every bar and coffee shop out there....

Until he went to Utah to visit his girlfriend and got thrown in jail because he had warrants for his arrest I had no idea about and it all fell apart and I met a girl and got really serious with her and had her move in with me and realized it was a big mistake because it was wasn't ready to get married and still had dreams to pursue so for the next six months fought and fought and fought and fought and fought and fought and wasted soooo much time doing things I shouldn't have including drugs and jogging down stereo-typical failure life path that I was diving head first into.... *gasp* *gasp*

Oook..
Well eventually, if you are still reading this and not totally bored out of you mind, some crazy turn-of-events happened and I didn't end up perma-screwing my life over after all...

First, I went to visit my parents in Colorado for thanksgiving (in which I haven't seen them in 2 and a half years at the time) but the night prior to this (whats with all the night priors?!) A producer offered me a job quite randomly to live at the apartment complex for free, and do product lines for hip-hop hats he was trying to market. This would have been my dream job, he had all the cameras and green-screens and money to make it work- and I was shocked.

but not as shocked as what happened after I came back from my thanksgiving escapade.

He had died. Passed from a brain aneurysm. I couldn't believed it.

Soon after more ironic events took place: I lost my job, I broke up with my girlfriend, I lost my apartment, I lost everything. I actually slept in my car a few nights with all my stuff packed up in it downstairs in the parking garage. I literally went from the top of the world, to absolutely nothing. Another wake-up call and pride destroyer for me to cherish-

and I do.

Currently I am rebuilding my life in the way it was suppose to be, the religious aspect played a huge role in this, and I will write an entire separate blog about that story.

Life isn't meant to be lived in those leaps and bounds blind to reality and succeed. Instead we are made to fail, for failing breeds learning which breeds success. Success doesn't breed success.

I am currently pursuing the creation of my own company, music my own way (the way i wanted from the beginning) custom t-shirts, a few websites, directing a movie, and living my family and friends in ways I had never thought possible- and having God and Jesus Christ on my mind as priority everyday. (Not to mention a certain girl from Connecticut ;)

This is my story, and the thoughts I have for every one of you. Thanks for reading. :)