My Beginning

Welcome to my first blog! Its funny how I finally started a blog, after being so religiously against the "stupidity" of such a thing. For some reason my mind had been made up that 'bloggers' were sheer internet no-lifes.... until I saw twitter. Thus in some kind of strange turn of events in my life, and being utterly disgusted, (also having no way of publicly expressing it to the world) I stooped my sorry self to something that I had been so revolted against... and now think its pretty cool. Ha! The irony!

So as a first blog post, I will introduce myself- I grew up in Coquille (koe-keel, or coke-heel, something similar sounding for a crude coke-addicted prostitute, unfortunately) Oregon, living in rain and fog for the first years of my life... it was delightful- My hobbies consisted of dancing to McHammer in my toddler parachute pants and pleasing the world and everyone in it.

Soon after my family moved to Boise, Idaho... annnd then Casper, Wyoming... and THEN Albuquerque, New Mexico... finally we stopped moving.. oh wait, wrong. We moved back to Idaho when I was 11. A this time I had 5 other siblings, 3 sisters and 2 brothers. The Brady bunch.

The large majority of my childhood revolved around a complete imaginary world, that i will discuss later in more detail, but to be vague: It was a lush fantasy land of limitless fabricated consciousness, I delved deep in my mind and created things with friends and family surely uncreated by any other human soul. Rampant perhaps, was my imagination, and for the majority of the time I saw not the dirt and trees of Idaho, but literally my inner eyes gazed upon the world as my own, vivid. Wild. I was home-schooled for a portion of my life as well, which gave me such endless free-time to elaborate on the deepest of degrees in my strange worlds.
Yet, like everyone, we all have to smell real life at some point;
Puberty eventually led to my conformity in society, and to me, the truth of society smelled bad... although I smelled it differently..

I saw things in a way that nobody I knew did. My friends didn't understand, peers, anybody. My perception of the world as we know it was completely abstract, and unlike anything my robotically produced peers could comprehend, leeeets just say I had my own ideas about things, and at times it got me into trouble. Mostly, however, the curse was an unknown advantage to me.

At 17 I graduated high-school, and was convinced to join a summer-sales team in Portland Oregon with a peer of mine, selling Home Security Systems.. my parents were distraught. My first fearful attempt at asking my father if "I could go?" Was an utterly expected and stern (and somewhat surprised) "No."

Yet I was persistent.

After much convincing, (and reassuring) I was on my way to Portland Oregon. The summary of this magnificent and knowledge-gaining journey was a conglomerate of me realizing what the world really is, meeting some of the most God-provided-me-an-opportunity-to-meet-you unique people in the entire world. Out of random, a simple door knock led me to meet the ones who changed my internal self forever. I am infinitely indebted to these people, and wish I remembered their names to give them the much needed credit; but my heart goes out to the many authors, blue collar workers, spiritual leaders, and movie producers I met on the way.

After I left Portland and came home, and after a grueling 4 months of knocking doors, I was a new person. A man, I felt, and perhaps prematurely aged into this world, but it was so, and something that couldn't be undone. My parents again, were distraught.

My individual self was empowered with the self-confidence that sales experience and opening yourself to hundreds of complete strangers graciously gives. It was amazing, not cockiness, not arrogance, but I knowing of who you are- and a real understanding of the few types of people in the world.

There aren't many. You would be surprised.

Continuing, at 17 I started attending a community college, gaining much needed college credits early on. My freshman year was complete at 17, as well. I was ecstatic how my life was turning out, to make things better- my parents were moving to Colorado, and since I was currently enrolled in College, I couldn't go with them... Freedom! At last! Moving in with my cool grandma, and saying my farewells to my folks, life couldn't have been any better.

Until I turned 18.

Soon after the semester was over, I relocated to my uncles house, my 26 year-old uncle who was literally like my long-lost older brother growing up. Things went down-hill from there...
eventually I started getting bored with life, and unattended, got into the "wrong crowd" you could say, and began my illegal activities regarding thievery.

This went on for a good 3 or so months until I got caught by the "piggies" ;) and my uncle spilled the beans to my entire extended family while he was away in Oregon. I ended up getting community service and massive fines.... also the best learning experience of my life.

When humility turns sour, a large sized beat-down is in order to freshen things up once again- and that's exactly what happened.

Receiving sobbing calls from family you hadn't talked to in years, including your dad telling you he's on "expedia.com" booking a flight to a one-way ass kicking. You sort-of rethink your life.

Ironically this night of being cornered happened on the exact night prior to a long journey to my next summer-sales experience in Seattle Washington.

After the drama had subsided, and ironically my parents found-out about this ordeal and ironically forgave me in about the exact same moment, saying: "We'll forget this ever happen, Just please, Promise us you are done." My love for them, and realization of their love for me blew my mind and expanded farther inside me than ever before. I swore my ways would change. Then left the next morning.

Seattle was interesting, I was amongst my greatest friends, amazing people; the kind of people that uplift you despite anything that is happening in your life currently. The ones who later, really matter to you.

After some months in Seattle and becoming considerable friends with a new guy, we'll call "Scott" for the sake of anonymity and having a considerable amount of things in common with the punk-rocker fellow. (i,e music taste, goals in life, past, religion, dreams) He convinced me to leave those certain people I mentioned earlier who really mattered, and go to LA to pursue music and acting.

I was incredibly excited.

My taste for music ranges (now) from techno, electronica, reggae, punk, metal, post-hardcore, to classical, club, pop, and rap. My one nemesis being country music. *blehhh*

We started off to LA, and began our Hollywood life-styles living in some of the nicest apartments out there, and between seeing Megan Fox walking down the hallways, or battling Tyrese for his work-out equiptment, or having a BBQ with Jordyn Taylor, we were in heaven.

Our band started out quickly, myself doing Vocals, and "Scott"on the guitar, we were rocking every bar and coffee shop out there....

Until he went to Utah to visit his girlfriend and got thrown in jail because he had warrants for his arrest I had no idea about and it all fell apart and I met a girl and got really serious with her and had her move in with me and realized it was a big mistake because it was wasn't ready to get married and still had dreams to pursue so for the next six months fought and fought and fought and fought and fought and fought and wasted soooo much time doing things I shouldn't have including drugs and jogging down stereo-typical failure life path that I was diving head first into.... *gasp* *gasp*

Oook..
Well eventually, if you are still reading this and not totally bored out of you mind, some crazy turn-of-events happened and I didn't end up perma-screwing my life over after all...

First, I went to visit my parents in Colorado for thanksgiving (in which I haven't seen them in 2 and a half years at the time) but the night prior to this (whats with all the night priors?!) A producer offered me a job quite randomly to live at the apartment complex for free, and do product lines for hip-hop hats he was trying to market. This would have been my dream job, he had all the cameras and green-screens and money to make it work- and I was shocked.

but not as shocked as what happened after I came back from my thanksgiving escapade.

He had died. Passed from a brain aneurysm. I couldn't believed it.

Soon after more ironic events took place: I lost my job, I broke up with my girlfriend, I lost my apartment, I lost everything. I actually slept in my car a few nights with all my stuff packed up in it downstairs in the parking garage. I literally went from the top of the world, to absolutely nothing. Another wake-up call and pride destroyer for me to cherish-

and I do.

Currently I am rebuilding my life in the way it was suppose to be, the religious aspect played a huge role in this, and I will write an entire separate blog about that story.

Life isn't meant to be lived in those leaps and bounds blind to reality and succeed. Instead we are made to fail, for failing breeds learning which breeds success. Success doesn't breed success.

I am currently pursuing the creation of my own company, music my own way (the way i wanted from the beginning) custom t-shirts, a few websites, directing a movie, and living my family and friends in ways I had never thought possible- and having God and Jesus Christ on my mind as priority everyday. (Not to mention a certain girl from Connecticut ;)

This is my story, and the thoughts I have for every one of you. Thanks for reading. :)